According to Newsweek, it’s an epidemic! April 22, 2009

I read a fascinating article about the epidemic of narcissism that seems to be overtaking our country.  At first, I found the article to be a bit off-putting, and I wasn’t sure that I necessarily agreed.  However, the further I read and the more I thought about it, the more I have to agree with many of its claims.

 

There is this tremendous sense of entitlement that people seem to have for some reason.  They feel that they deserve good things.  They feel that they deserve to have their opinion heard.  They feel that they deserve to be taken care of regardless of their effort.

What does this lead to?

 

It leads to a country full of people who want to be understood, embraced, listened to, coddled, cared for, catered to, complimented, allowed to succeed, taken care of, freed from punishment, and somehow still allowed independence.  That, in my estimation, is a dangerous concoction… and a recipe for a vicious cycle.  The more people want to be listened to, the less they listen to others.  The more they want to be taken care of, the less they are willing to take care of others.

 

There is one microcosm of society in which this worries me the most:  the church.

 

Every element of narcissism flies in the face of what Jesus taught and lived.  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus, who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made himself nothing.”

 

If we are a church full of whining, complaining, selfish people, how will anyone in the world know what Jesus looks like?  If we’re too caught up rating songs we sing in church or going on strike so that others will see our utter disdain for decisions made, how can anyone see the love the Father has lavished on us as his kids?

 

In the interest of full disclosure, I feel the need to admit my own struggle with my own selfish desires.  Oh yes, they exist.  It is a constant, ongoing, sometimes painful battle to rein them in… but I am working to make my desires subject to the desires of my King.  He desires that all may know him.  He desires that I seek him with all my heart so that he may be found.  He desires that I be the aroma of Christ in this world.  Nowhere in that list does scripture tell me that he desires that I choose which songs we sing on Sundays or the manner in which we worship or who attends or doesn’t.  Far from it.  He desires that I lay my wants down… that I participate as an active member of the body of Christ… that I love him so intensely and my neighbor so intensely that my own narcissistic tendencies disappear in a constant stream of love.

 

Every time I think that laying my own desires down sounds hard (and it is), I remember the incredible depth of the love my Father has for me.  He has absolutely treated me like his little princess.  He rescued (and rescues!  Praise the Lord!) me.  My only possible response is to show those around me what an infinitely loving Father I have and do my best to introduce them to him.

 

Falling more in love with Jesus necessitates a falling out of of love with oneself.  I pray that we, as Christians—that I, as a Christian—may fall out of love with ourselves and more in love with our Creator.  In doing so, I pray that we may come to truly, deeply love our fellow creations and treat them like Jesus would treat them.  And maybe—just maybe—they truly will know we are Christians by our love.

Life in the Tension April 16, 2009

My dad says I’m slacking at blogging, and Chris says I use too many words.  Dad, you win.  Chris, come up with another website that rivals icanhascheezburger and cakewrecks, and maybe we’ll talk.

 

We started back up with small groups again, and that has been pretty fabulous so far.  I’m really excited about our group, and it’s already been a blessing, so I’m really excited to see what this experience will be like.

 

Our coffee tables came in on Friday the 3^rd, so they were all set up in time for Bunko at my house after all!  I was very excited about that.  At some point, I swear I will take pictures and post them… but I’m in the process of moving everything from one computer to another (more on that later), so I haven’t gotten around to doing so yet.

 

Last Tuesday night, my friend Jocelyn and I went to Rosa’s (for Taco Tuesday, obvi) and sat and talked until 10:02 and then realized what time it was and RAN out of the restaurant.  Ha.  The boys were having a dinner up at Snuffer’s in Southlake, so we thought we’d go have some girl time, and we so did.  We talked all about… well… girl things.  I will not elaborate. J

 

After I found a doctor I liked (which would be my last post), Lance got sick and went to him too.  I hope it’s not my turn again.  Not that I don’t like the doctor, but I’d rather not go…  Oh, that same day, Lance got called and asked to lead singing Sunday morning because the songleader was sick.  Good thing Lance got two shots too!

 

LTC is over!  That is happy news.  I coached a girls’ chorus, and Lance coached a mixed chorus, and between the two, we clocked a lot of hours at the church.  The only unfortunate thing was that my chorus was scheduled to sing at like 4:30 on Friday afternoon, and I don’t get off work until 5:30, so Lance stepped in and led them for me.  They did great (I got to watch a recording of it) and got a gold, and now I think I’m going to get to lead them at the Legacy 50^th anniversary extravaganza.  It’s not really an extravaganza.  I have no idea what to call it.  Extravaganza it is.  LTC itself was fun.  Lance’s chorus did great too. They were all nervie, but they sounded great.  One funny story:  so Cori and Jason were there with their two girlies, and they were a little nervous about taking their baby into the puppet room (where you have to sit for like 3 or 4 puppet groups at a time and they won’t let anyone come or go), so I offered to keep her with me until we went downstairs for Lance’s chorus to meet.  We had fun (I always like borrowing other people’s babies.  It’s far less stress than having one from what I hear. J), and then we stood and waited for an elevator.  And waited and waited and waited.  Seriously… LTC elevators are nothing more than a test of patient endurance.  Anyway, so an elevator came, and we got on, and immediately Reagan tensed up, straightened her arms and legs, and just started bawling.  She cried the whole way down (and we stopped on pretty much every floor… and we were on the 13^th floor), and as soon as we stepped out of the elevator, she relaxed and stopped crying.  It’s possible I made her claustrophobic.  It was an accident.

 

Saturday afternoon after Lance’s chorus performed, we met my mom, dad, sister, and sister’s boyfriend for lunch, which was great.  We always enjoy time with the fam.  And then after that, Lance and I went to Fry’s and bought me a new laptop!  HOORAY!  The one I have (or had) is from 2004 (which would be okay…) and has somehow developed a short or a messed up connection between the compy brain and the screen.  If the screen isn’t at just the right angle, there’s like a seizure of colors on the screen.  Basically, we can’t close that laptop at all, so we just keep it at its 90 degree angle and use it and carry it around like that.  Classy, I know.  We’ve been hunting for a new computer so that we could everything off of the 90-degree laptop before it dies, and my dad found the one we’d been looking at for $50 cheaper, so we went and bought it!  Hooray!  A laptop that CLOSES!  What a revolutionary idea!

 

Sunday was Easter, and my two-year-olds were all hyped up on pre-church sugar and toys.  It was not a pretty picture.  I had ten of them, and I had to fight for each inch of ground we gained in the class.  I think I will try to restrict my future children’s pre-church sugar consumption solely based upon this experience.  Someone remind me of that in like 3 years.  Kthanks.  Lance led singing in service and did a great job as always.  He got to handle one of the single most awkward moments I remember in my entire church life… and he did so with great panache.  And I really like that word.  Anyway, we had two baptisms in church (hooray!), which is such a wonderful thing on a day focused on my Lord’s resurrection.  Then we went and ate with Lance’s family for Easter, which was great (and delicious… the women on his side of the family majored in home economics.  Intimidating for me?  I think so…) and then came home and got ready for small group. 

 

Small group was really great (as I mentioned before) except I don’t think I made enough meat.  Lance says it was fine… I am a perfectionist.  I say… un-fine.  The dessert was a smashing success though.  I do love dessert…  Oh, and I pulled some of the mini-trees out of our yard and gave them to my friend who’s a kindergarten teacher.  It’s pretty crazy, actually – the acorns fall from the oak next door and into our yard and actually grow into tiny trees.  You can pull them up from the ground with the acorn still attached.  Anyway, I gave her trees.  Kindergartners in Saginaw, you owe me BIG for allowing you to witness this coolness…

 

Monday was another basketball game for Lance, which was fun for me… not as much fun for him.  I had adults to hang out with this time, so I enjoyed it… but let’s just say this:  The other team was dunking during warm-ups.  Yes, WARM-UPS.  I took that as a bad sign.  I was right.  Team Dynegacy (only because I don’t know how to spell Josh’s actual last name…) did not win… but another wife and I decided that they probably need post-game snacks, so we’ll be starting that up soon. J  After the basketball game, Lance and I went to Lowe’s (after a trip to Sonic in an attempt to bribe Lance into a better mood) to use a coupon that was about to expire and bought most of the things we’ll need to finish up our flower bed work in the backyard.  Hopefully that will be a successful endeavor this weekend.

 

Tuesday was a rough day driving-wise.  There was a big wreck on 121 in the morning, which actually shut the highway down entirely.  I was 15 minutes late to work… and pretty cranky.  On the way home?  Another wreck.  121 wasn’t shut down this time, but it was enough to make me cranky again (shocking, I know).  Anyway, I spent like an hour and half or more of my day just being stuck in the car.  Lame.  We ate dinner and then Lance left for Bible study, and Buddy and I went running and did some exercising.  It was great… but my legs are still sore.  Apparently I don’t exercise enough!

 

Church Wednesday; elders meeting for Lance tonight, so I’m having dinner with a friend; just got done walking around at the Main Street Arts Festival; going to the Rangers game Saturday night; hostessing another baby shower Sunday afternoon… basically a constant 90-to-nothing life, as always.  I’m done with Audacity of Hope, as mentioned previously, and am currently almost halfway through Mere Christianity.  I have so many things to write about both of those, but for some reason I never get around to it.  I’ve also been thinking a lot about church things… so maybe I will have a very opinionated blog post coming soon.  Maybe.  Or maybe I’ll get distracted by another shiny object and it will be two weeks before I blog again…

Success! April 2, 2009

I found a doctor I like!  Hooray!  (Well, I already liked my obgyn, but I can’t very well call him when I have a cough.  That’s just weird.  I’m excited to find a normal doctor.  You know.)  I went on Friday and got a shot and a Z-pack and am now well on my way.  I still have a little bit of a tickle in my throat, but it’s TONS better than it was (read: I no longer sound like a smoker/asthmatic)… PLUS I’m having to contend with random weather changes (it dropped to the 30s on Saturday, was in the 60s Sunday, the 70s yesterday, then it rained/hailed Monday night, then it was in the 50s on my way to work Tuesday, then in the 70s yesterday, etc.), so I should expect at least a little tickle in my throat.  Let’s be honest.  I am realizing how very much my health affects my moods, so I am thrilled to feel better.  (I’m sure Lance is thrilled too… I’m much less of a cranky pants now.)

 

We had a pretty relaxed weekend as I worked on recovering… ran some errands, had a 3-hour small groups meeting, cleaned house – you know, the usual.  Ha.  Saturday night, we went shopping for a coffee table/end table set, and we found one we really liked!  Hooray!  They aren’t in yet (it takes like 10 to 14 days), but I will have to post pictures once they’re in.  I’m kind of sad that it will be awhile – Bunko is at my house next Monday, and I’d love to have them by then!  Oh well.  Not that big of a deal.  Of course, once these tables enter our lives, there will be much work to be done.  The current end table must be demoted to office table and painted black to match the chairs… that also need to be painted black… and set in front of the curtains… that need to be hemmed.  See how that works?  I’m excited though.  I like doing/buying stuff for our house.  I wish I had an unlimited budget (both of time and of money), but hey…

 

Sunday was another big church day.  I’m still in there teaching the 2s, and this Sunday was our last one (fifth one!) to study Noah’s ark.  I love that they are getting old enough to learn things about the story.  Precious.  So after Bible class, their parents didn’t come pick them up; instead each Bible class walked into the auditorium together to give the money they’d raised for Missions Sunday.  Whoever came up with the idea never tried to wrangle 20 two-year-olds from one end of the building to the other – literally.  The two-year-old classes are at one end of the building… auditorium?  Other end.  Anyway, the kids did great, but by the time I made it to my seat, I was sweating.  We made it through with no tears and no major catastrophes though.  And they sure were cute. J  So our church had set a goal of $200,000 in cash + pledges for Missions Sunday to fund all of our mission stuff for this year.  Last year, the goal was like $150,000 or something, and our church raised $230,000something, which was just awesome… but this year has been really different than last year.  People have lost their jobs or are in fear of losing their jobs… people are scrambling to make ends meet… people are figuring out how to pay their own bills, much less donate.  Anyway, I was fearful.  Silently fearful, but fearful nonetheless.  I had lost my job since last Missions Sunday, and I know Lance and I look at our money pretty differently now.  I like to call myself a realist, but I fear that I often tread the line between realist and pessimist.  Anyway, in this case, I was squarely on the pessimist side – our church raised over $250,000 for missions this year.  When they put the number on the screen, my eyes just welled up with tears.  What a mighty God… and I’m so glad to be a part of His family.

 

On a side note of happiness, we had a potluck at church Sunday night, and I baked cookies for it on Sunday afternoon.  They were just basic sugar cookies that I iced with basic icing… and somehow they were, like, the favorite ever.  I had people coming up and telling me how good they were, and it just made my heart smile.  I know that’s a small thing… but it feels good to be a favorite.  Not even THE favorite – just A favorite will do just fine!

 

Monday night, I went to Lance’s rec-league basketball game and watched some kiddos while their dads played.  It was an adventure.  Oh my.  That probably sounds more negative than it really was.  I had fun… and I left the game sore from picking kids up.  Turns out I have no mommy muscles.  THEN a hailstorm moved in, and we were both very thankful for our garage that was clean enough to fit both vehicles inside.  Poor Budster though.  He was terrified of the noise.  I don’t blame him – it was loud!  Anyway, we were both safe, our house was safe, our cars were safe… we were very thankful.  Then the storm moved through, and Lance made a sad face and goes, “Aw, man.  I was going to fall asleep to the sound of the rain.  How disappointing.”  That funny husband of mine.

 

Tuesday was Bible study for Lance, so I finished eating dinner by myself and then took the dog out for awhile…  Then last night was church with a bonus LTC practice afterwards… and there’s an elder’s meeting tonight…  Friday, here I come!  First night without going up to the church this entire week!

Too much coughing. March 26, 2009

It’s official.  I’m going to the doctor tomorrow.  I have an appointment and everything.  This will be the third time since we’ve been married that I’ve been sick enough to go to a doctor.  The first time, I chickened out of trying to find a doc and went to CareNow instead.  So-so experience.  The second time, I pulled up the list of doctors my insurance covered and called each one of them until I found one that could see me.  I left with samples, prescriptions, and the option of a chest X-ray if I wanted one (who ever wants one??).  He never really diagnosed me though… and I don’t know that the medicines helped much.  Again – so-so experience.  So tomorrow I am going to a doctor that I have actually heard of.  I have high hopes for more than a so-so experience.  I’ve got hi-i-igh hopes.  I’ve got hi-i-igh hopes…

 

This whole sick thing has been kind of weird.  I was fine last week… Saturday, Lance and I got up and worked in our flower beds, which made my throat kind of itchy, which I assumed to be allergies from a morning of being surrounded by the one giant allergen that I like to call my backyard.  We had a busy day, and I felt fine except for the itchiness.  Lance was still trying to battle back from having no voice earlier in the week all day Saturday, so I did a lot of talking, and he did a lot of nodding.  That’s not really that different from normal though, I guess.  Anyway, I woke up Sunday morning without any sound coming out of my mouth.  Like nothing.  After some violent coughing, I could talk – and I sounded like a man.  Pretty.  I still felt fine though.  Sunday was incredibly busy, and I had a solo to sing (yes, without a voice), so I downed 3 hot teas from Starbs loaded with lemon and honey and gave it my best.  After that, not even a squeak would come out of my mouth.  Anyway, I’ve had a hard time with my voice and an annoying cough all week, but things seem to be getting worse instead of better, which is the wrong direction, so I scheduled an appointment.  I’m kind of nervous about it because I really want it to be a good doctor experience… but I also want it to not take very long since I don’t have any paid time off from work yet.  I can be difficult to please.

 

I finished The Audacity of Hope.  I’m still processing/internalizing (like a good English major should), but I plan to share my opinion soon.  I bought CS Lewis collection, so I think that will be my next round of “light” reading.  Ha.  I’m excited about it though.  I enjoy my good friend Clive Staples, even if I progress slowly through his work.

 

Here’s hoping that the coughing will stop….

You Load Sixteen Tons… March 18, 2009

Oh my.  Eleven days since last blogging.  That is not so good.

 

On Saturday the 7^th, Lance and I rode with my parents up to OKC to see my sister do her Spring Sing thing.  It was such a fun trip.  I will have to post pictures soon… or you can just see them on facebook.  That might be easier.  Anyway, we had a great time, but we got home at like 11:00 that night… and it was Daylight Saving Time night, so we lost an hour anyway PLUS Lance had to lead singing.  So Sunday morning, we had church (with Lance leading singing and my teaching the 2-year-olds), LTC practices (yes, plural practices), and then I made Lance go to the grocery store with me because we had NO food.  It was a long day… and that is quite an understatement.  The rest of the week went by pretty normally… Saturday night we went with Erin and Marshall to watch the Stars play.  I have pictures of that too… still on the ol’ camcam.  I should take care of that…  We had a fantastic time with them though.  We had a funny/interesting story contest… Marshall won.  By a lot.  Sunday, Lance led singing again but this time he lost his voice entirely.  It’s taken several days, and it’s still not all the way back yet.  Again, multiple LTC practices on Sunday… plus going out to lunch with our young marrieds friends.  I love friend lunches.  Last night, I got outside and took the dog running (which was less fun since he ate his harness Valentine’s Day weekend) and just enjoyed the fabulous weather and being active… it was great!  I’m so excited about the warmer weather and longer days!  This promises to be another busy weekend:  Saturday, Lance and I are going to spend some time with some of my high school friends.  Some of them have never even met him, so I’m excited for them to meet him.  Sunday, I’m teaching the 2s, Lance is leading singing, I’m hostessing a baby shower, practicing with the Legacy Singers, singing a solo in the service thing, and having another LTC practice.  Whew.  It’s still 4 days away, and it makes me tired already.

 

I’m enjoying teaching the 2s.  I’ve always worked with the tiny tots at church, and I haven’t worked with any age other than youth group (well, and my own age group) since we’ve been at Legacy.  I am not by any means the perfect teacher or whatever, but I believe God gave me a heart for kiddos.  They talk to me in random places – even when they don’t know me.  It’s weird.  I tried to tell Lance about it when we start dating, and I think he thought I was weird… but now he knows it’s true.  Case in point – on the DART on the way back from a Stars game, a little boy taps me on the shoulder and says, “Ma’am, do you know when people will start getting off this train?”  I told him that I did not know, but that hopefully they would soon.  He nodded solemnly, and I tried to stifle my laughter.  I mean – really?  A train full of people, and he went for me.  Anyway, I’m just saying.  God made me this way, and I love being around the tots.  Just two more weeks of the story of Noah and then we can move on… J

 

Lance’s elders’ meeting for tomorrow night got postponed, so we have an extra night of hangout time this week!  Hooray!  Maybe we will actually start on our yard this week… J

 

Oh, I have also taken up trying to memorize the Psalms again.  I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

 

Another progress update – I am like 40 pages from the end of Pres. Obama’s book.  Once I finish, I will share my overall view of it.  It’s been an interesting journey… and it’s weird to read this right as like every financial institution in the country wet its pants.  I will share soon… and sorry for the slow reading.  I only read it at lunch when People and Us Weekly are taken.  That’s sad probably.

 

 

Oh, and the song “Sixteen Tons” has been in my head since it was on Big Bang Theory last night.  I sang that in high school.  I had no good title for this little bloggie, so it gets to be the song that’s rattling around in my head.  I can sing it for you if you’d like…

Shotgun Update March 7, 2009

Life seems to be continually flying past at a break-neck speed that leaves me constantly tired, behind, and a little bit confused.  I must not be the only one… many of my friends’ blogging tendencies have become increasingly sporadic, so I’m sure they’re racing around at the same pace.

 

So lately…

 

We actually had a pretty relaxing weekend last weekend… and on Saturday evening, we went to Erin ’s engagement party, which was so exciting.  I was so happy to be there and see her ring and meet her fiancé (crazy!).  I should probably start trying to get skinny again… I have to wear a bridesmaid’s dress in just three months…  But seriously, Erin has been like another sister to me.  We were so close in college, never had any roommate drama, chased a mouse in our apartment, complained about our jobs at UP, sang harmony while we did dishes, skipped around the campus, annoyed Lance with stupid voices… and we also cried together and prayed together and went to church and chapel together.  I am so happy to see her so happy.  Well, she’ll be happy until her ENORMOUS ring gives her carpal tunnels. J  Most of the week was pretty normal… normal stuff going on.  Last night, Melissa and I met for coffee and talked at Starbucks for like 3 hours.  It was super fun except that the Starbs employees are apparently ghetto in Keller.  They kept vacuuming things and screaming and other various and sundry annoyances.  I mean, really?

 

Oh, I have not yet written about True Love Waits.  I shall do that now.

 

The retreat was really great except that my allergies were terrible terrible all weekend long.  Like – I carried a box of Puffs around with me.  (I told you I deserved Puffs indeed.)  It’s just miserable to be out in the woods not sleeping much and trying to have energy when you feel ewie Louie.  I remember, however, that my prayer was that GOD would do something and that I would just be a vessel – a clay pot… and I think the Lord allowed me to be physically humbled so that I would know that it was not by my own might or power that I was doing anything.  Any and all glory definitely belongs to him.

 

One of the things that struck me most about the group of kids we took on the retreat was how very many of them have already been through a lot at a young age – losing a parent, parents’ divorce, blended families, etc.  I looked around the room one night and just felt this ache in my heart.  All the junior highers we took were 12 to 14 years old… and their young hearts have already felt so much pain.  Statistics are one thing; seeing a group full of kids that actually represent those statistics is something else entirely.  It’s a good thing we belong to the God of all comfort and peace!

 

If you want to read more about the retreat itself, you can read Lance’s blog.

 

Oh – Trevor and Chris:  The kids were doing the awkward turtle, and I took it upon myself to teach them the awkward antlers.  I know.  Fabulous.

 

We are also beginning to work on our yard.  Lance has been working really hard these past few days to try to kill the ninja weeds that we have, and a few weeks ago, he and I spent several hours outside trimming back some of our shrubs and trees that had gotten a little OTT.  We are planning to uproot all of the shrubs in our yard and basically start all over pretty soon (like in the next couple of weeks).  I am simultaneously excited and nervous about that.  Neither Lance nor I particularly enjoys spending time weeding and watering and digging and planting… so we tend to plant things and then kill them because we don’t want to invest the necessary time to keep them alive.  I do not want to do that this time, so I am going to have to force myself to enjoy the whole earthy thing.  I have been researching partial/full shade plants since we have a pretty good size tree in our yard that prevents our landscaping from receiving much direct light… now I have to go compare prices, I guess.  Maybe I will at least be disciplined enough to take before and after pictures.  That always helps my motivation.  We shall see.  I really want more color in front of our house.  Our whole house is beige.  Our brick is beige.  Garage door?  Beige.  Siding?  Beige.  Trim?  Beige.  Granted, they are different SHADES of beige… but beige nonetheless.  Now I’ve typed “beige” too much and I keep spelling it wrong.  Anyway, moral of the story is I want color.

 

Now how is THAT for a shotgun update?

Valentine’s Day February 24, 2009

Despite my normally upbeat personality, I was once among those who referred to Valentine’s Day as Singles’ Awareness Day (acronym: SAD) with a grouchy face. Don’t get me wrong – the day has a few of my favorite things: the color pink, lots of candy, snuggly little bears, more pink, and, yes, more candy. Now, however, I think Valentine’s Day is pretty fantastic. And Valentine’s Day ’09 might be the best one yet.

I rushed home from work on Friday the 13th (scary, I know!) and got ready, and we drove downtown. We went to dinner at Reata (yes, we had reservations, and yes, we used valet parking). Dinner was fabulous. We had their beef tenderloin tamales as an appetizer, I had chicken chile rellenos, and Lance had chicken fried steak. And of course, I had crème brulee, and Lance had cheesecake. (If you know either of us very well, those dessert choices are not at all surprising.) Unfortunately, I have no pictures from dinner because I left my camera in Lance’s boot in the truck. Sad day. Anyway, dinner was great, and Lance and I had a great time talking… about nothing really. We discussed the buffalo head on the wall in the restaurant and the style of Fort Worth and our favorite foods at Reata… It’s fun to talk about things that don’t involve church or money or taxes or other things that can be stressors.

After dinner, we get in the truck, and Lance goes, “Well, so I came over here earlier today.” I was like, “Over where?” “I came to downtown.” (I was kind of offended. I work there. Why did he not come say hi?) So then he says, “I came and checked us into our hotel and our parking taken care of and all of that.” (Hooray!) THEN he says, “If I have a surprise about our room, do you want me to tell you or do you want to be surprised?” (What?!) I really don’t do so great with surprises, so I was told him to KIND OF tell me. He said that when he went to check in at the front desk, the girl goes, “Oh, so you know Marcus!” Lance told her that he didn’t know who she was talking about… and she goes, “Oh, that’s weird… because he gave you a free room upgrade!” So Marcus and I went to high school together, and I facebooked him because I saw pictures of him at the Omni, and I just said, “Hey! I’m going there on Friday!” Anyway, he is the manager there, and he gave us this free room upgrade! Super! So Lance goes, “Okay, I won’t tell you about the room… but there are two TVs. That’s all I’ll say.” We get to the hotel and go up to our room… and wow. It was just beautiful. I DO have pictures of it!

Two rooms… Two TVs… Two bathrooms! Holy cow!

   

The Omni is just beautiful. It’s very Texas chic. Lots of rustic-looking furniture with high-gloss veneer and incredible architecture. It’s really cool. I made Lance take lots of pictures because we didn’t have my camera at dinner, and somehow this evens it out.

      

We walked all around the hotel, hung out in the sports bar for a little bit, and just generally enjoyed having a night to do nothing. Saturday morning, we got up, and I took a shower – the coldest shower evar. I do NOT like cold showers. In fact, when we had water heater issues, I made Lance take me to Jason and Cori’s to shower because I refused to take even one shower without a water heater. Anyway, so it cold, which made me unhappy. I mean, it’s great that the hotel was gorgeous, but you gotta have hot water! I get out of the shower and call down to the front desk. Well, it turns out that the city hit a water main doing construction around the outside of the hotel, and they had just turned the water back ON, so it wasn’t hot yet. I wasn’t mad after that. You can’t control when someone else messes things up. We went downstairs to the lobby for breakfast (they have a full Starbucks in the lobby) and ran into my friend Marcus! So that was super cool – I got to introduce him to Lance and say thanks and all. He asked if we had cold water, and I said we did but no big deal, and then he goes, “Well, let me get your breakfast at Starbucks. It’s the least I can do.” HOORAY! So we had a lovely little breakfast at Starbucks and then headed home. It was so wonderful to have a getaway only 20 minutes from home. We had the best time.

Turns out that I like Valentine’s Day… and I sure do love that husband of mine.

Turbo update February 20, 2009

This has been a crazy week.  In fact, calling it a crazy week doesn’t begin to do it justice.  Anyway, that’s my reason for being so lax in updating my blog lately.  Super-fast updates with in-depth updates to follow soon… or soonish…:

 

1. Lance and I had a fabulous Valentine’s Day.  Dinner at Reata and staying at the Omni – perfection!  AND it turns out I know the manager of the Omni from high school, so he gave us an upgrade to a suite!  Pictures of said fancy date/fancy room(s) coming soon.
2. My job is going really well… and I have been SO busy this week that I haven’t even had time to update my blog.  I love that.  It makes the day go by so fast.
3. We are leaving as soon as I get off work to go on the True Love Waits retreat.  I’m excited.  And I’m tired.  We’ll see how those two adjectives battle it out this weekend.
4. My allergies are awful waffle right now.  My nose is like the one on the little claymation commercial where the nose hides in the kid’s face and the semi-British voice says, “A nose in need deserves Puffs indeed.”  Yeah.  That’s me.  I deserve Puffs indeed.
5. I had a fabulous dinner with my friend Ragan last night.  There are few things greater in the world than catching up with a friend.  It was just wonderful.
6. We are about to start LTC practices… you know, in case I was looking for something to do with all of that free time I have on my hands…
7. A lot of my friends are getting together for Sing Song in Abilene this weekend, and I am SO sad that I won’t get to go see them since I’ll be up at Texoma.  This is why I need a jet.  Or a Pegasus.  Probably a Pegasus.  A jet would just be silly.
8. My mom’s birthday is Monday.  Happy birthday, Mom!  (if you read this… I really don’t know if you do or not…)
9. I laid out all of my clothes and bedding for the retreat on our bed this morning and didn’t pack a thing.  Lance told me he’d take care of it.  I’m a little nervous for both of us.

 

This is probably the kind of very brief update that my dad prefers… but I promise I’ll write more at some point.  Until then, keep us in your prayers this weekend!

Quarter-Life Crisis (you’re so right, Kenz!) February 10, 2009

My friend McKenzie coined the phrase “quarter-life crisis” to describe this weird place in life that we are in… and I think that is a most appropriate phrase.  Basically… I’ve been out of school for 2 ½ years now, so I’m pretty definitely beyond college student age.  I’ve been married for a little over 2 ½ years now, so I guess we’re not really “newlyweds” by definition anymore.  I’ve gone through a few jobs and am still trying to identify/clarify exactly what I want to do with my life.  A lot of my friends are having babies, and they are super cute all pregnant… but I am not ready to travel that road yet.  I want to pay off all of our short-term debt (cars, etc., but not credit cards – don’t worry), but I also want to splurge on myself and Lance while we don’t have much responsibility.  I want to be super skinny/super fit but then I’d rather hang out and be lazy…  I feel like I am constantly vacillating between extremes… and it’s hard to figure out.  I feel like I’m in grown-up high school – there is pressure all around me, and I’m trying to figure out exactly who I am and what I want to do… only in grown-up high school, it’s not choosing which college/which major/which boyfriend/which social club.  Instead, it’s choosing where to live, how much to pay for a house, selecting insurance, deciding when to have kids… it’s weird!  And scary!  I’d always heard of the red-convertible mid-life crisis days… but no one bothered to tell me about the quarter-life crisis days!  (Well, except you, Kenz.  At least I know I’m not alone.)

 

So basically, here I am – 4ish months before my 25^th birthday and trying to figure out who I am all over again.

 

God has been teaching me a lot about my identity lately (as in, over the past several months).  Last fall, I was in a season of feeling pretty good about myself.  I was back to enjoying my job, I was freelance writing, I had lost some weight and kept it off, I was getting better at balancing my life, I was really involved at church… and then everything kind of exploded in about a week.  Obviously, there were tears (there are always tears when it comes to me…), but one of the things that really struck me was that I wasn’t sure who I was without all those things.  Without a job… feeling somewhat dissatisfied with some things at church… eating because I was sad… being so sad that I never had any fun…  It really shook me to my core to lose so many things that I’d used to frame my identity.  It almost took me back to my World Lit days of the Museum of Unconditional Surrender… but not quite.  Ha.  (That’s a really nerdy joke.  I recognize that.)  Basically, I was convicted that I had wrapped up my whole identity in my performance.  I think I’ve always tended to do that, and it’s gone okay for me because I am a perfectionist, and when I really apply myself to something, I’m typically pretty okay at it.  I graduated at the top of my class, a few points away from being a national merit scholar, and with a really high SAT score.  I danced my heart out on my competitive dance team and became an officer… and then got to dance when I went to ACU and had the privilege of choreographing multiple Sing Song routines because of it.  I was a class officer in high school and a member of FAC when I started to ACU.  I got jobs that I applied for, had a high GPA, and my professors liked me in college.  I dated, fell in love, and married.  I had great friends.  I was involved at church, I loved singing, I enjoyed writing…  Basically, I was good at things, so I felt good about who I was.

 

And the Lord reminded me (or allowed me to be reminded) that my identity is solely in His grace.

 

He reminded me that it’s okay to be weak.  It’s okay to ask for help.  It’s good to be humble.  It’s good to be gentle.  Having the most money doesn’t make you the most happy.  Being good at something doesn’t make you a good person.  Everyone has ups and downs.  I’m not better than anyone else because I can perform well… and I’m not worse than someone else because they can perform better.  My weight isn’t what makes me beautiful.  My confidence shouldn’t stem from my pride.  My confidence is really just the light of Jesus shining out of me.  Using my God-given gifts is great… as long as I’m using them for His glory and not mine… and as long as I remember they were given to me.  God doesn’t love me more when I’m good or less when I’m bad… He just loves me.  He just loves me.

 

These truths may not change the behavior you see from me (I still plan to work and try hard and sing and have friends and read and write)… but they absolutely change my motivation and my heart.  And I am by no means an expert in this new identity.  I still wrestle with it at times, and I believe that the Lord gave me the drive to achieve that I have inside me, so I will probably always be someone who tries really hard. To tie this back to the quarter-life crisis… I want to live squarely in the middle of this identity of grace and not worry about keeping up with the Joneses.  I want to give everything my best shot without feeling the pressure to do things just because my friends are doing them.  I want to look in the mirror and see heaven’s masterpiece rather than those 5 pounds I just can’t seem to lose.  I want to work as though I’m working for the Lord not for man without ever losing sight of the fact that some things have eternal consequences… and typographical errors are probably not one of those things.

Oh, ya know. February 5, 2009

My life has been inordinately busy/boring lately.  I am CONSTANTLY going, but it seems to be mostly in activities that are not exactly riveting to blog about.  Here are a few things that are going well in my life:

 

• I found a newish way to work that shaves 5 minutes off my drive! (On the way TO work, not FROM work though, which is sad.)
• Thanks to my friend Chris, I sat and laughed a new hysterical website for like an hour last night (cake wrecks)!  Oh my goodness, there were tears.  SO funny.
• My laptop is working better than it was for a long time!  It can even be open past a 90-degree angle!  Progress – hello!
• I’ve picked 2 out of 3 songs for my LTC chorus to sing.  That’s 66% done… which is better than the 66% NOT done that I was yesterday!
• Wal-Mart has had Pink Lady apples again… and they are my favorite.  And I eat at least one a day… today – two!
• I wear my iPod in one ear and listen to Christian music while I’m at work.  It puts me in such a good mood.
• The credit union credited my $35.00 back to me!  Hooray!
• I’m wearing my favorite socks today.  Well – favorite as in cushiest.  So good on the tootsies.
• Tomorrow is Friday!
• True Love Waits seems to be going really well at church.  I love hearing that girls who didn’t want to come to church are now eager to come and getting hugs after class.  That’s the good stuff.
• Our Valentine’s Day date is coming up!  Typically, we aren’t big on spending a lot on dates.  In fact, I’ve grown to be more of a homebody as I’ve gotten older (either that, or I’ve gotten cheaper…), but we are having a super fun Valentine’s Day date, and I am pretty darn excited about it!
• We had a fantastic Super Bowl party at our house.  We had 4 other couples over, and we all just hung out and (the girls) talked and (the boys) watched the game.  Oh, and we ATE!  We ate SO much!  It was a really fun night.  I enjoy having friends over… even if our crown molding isn’t finished! J
• I am especially thankful for our health.  Thank you, Lord.
• We signed up to be coleaders for small groups this time around.  Exciting!
• I’m not stressed from work. J